The heartbeat of God.

Before I go in to this please note that this just describes some of the thoughts I have. I have the outmost respect for any religion or the beliefs of other people. I by no means imply that this is the truth. It just feels to me like an interesting possibility.

I do not believe that God looks like us. All pictures of god that I know of are interpretations of humans and are therefore biased. In fact I do not know if there is a God at all. I believe that we were meant to be uncertain about the existence of God. I do not believe that any of us have a clue even if some people are quite convinced. Hey, I could be just as wrong as the next guy but I will never pretend to know something if I don’t have any facts or proof whatsoever. If we are here to be judged it would be a bad idea to tell us that the headmaster is watching us all the time right? Better to let us get on with our business and see what we are made of without leaving a trace…

I like to believe that there is something more than us out there because there are too many why’s and how’s if it is not that are all but impossible to answer. Maybe there is no why and how. Maybe there’s no spoon too…

Every now and then I can’t help thinking about God. 

On the 20th of januari 1998 I had some very unusual thoughts. I was thinking about God and imagining what it would be like to be omnipotent and all-knowing. Strange enough I came to the conclusion that it must be boring like hell. Their is nothing you can think of that can surprise you because you know what your going to think of before you think it. There is nothing worth doing because you know what it will be like and how it will turn out. There is nothing you can create because you are everything and everything is you.

Scientists believe that in the beginning there was a singularity. A single point with indefinite density that contained everything there was. This was not a point in an immense empty space because there was no “outside” this one point. Absolutely everything was inside this single point.

And there was God with nothing to do but exist. Boring. Boring. Boring. He could not end himself because even God has to obey the rule that the balance of energy can not be disturbed. You can change energy and shift it from left to right and create imbalance between areas. Energy can change form, from heat to electricity, to kinetic energy, flow form one point to another but you can not make energy disappear. You can divide energy equally or unequally over the available space but of course there had to be space first.

The only way out of being all-knowing is to forget. The only way out of omnipotence is to use your powers to push them away from you. So far away that you no longer have the power or the energy needed to get them back. If you can’t get rid of all that power you can throw it so far away that it stay’s away for quite some time.

Why would God do such a thing? Because the fun is all in learning and growing. Of course if he were to create a universe with him in the centre he could do so. But that would have left him watching us all the time with the inevitable fact that again this would be very boring because he would know the entire history of the universe even before he created it.  No, the being had to forget everything by casting away his powers beyond reach.

As I said earlier there are laws that even God has to obey and whatever he would cast away, no matter how far, would eventually come back to him. That is what gravity does. It is the power that recreates god even if he is obliterated.

In order to learn he had to forget. In order to forget he had to cast away his powers beyond reach. In order to have time to learn he had to throw everything else away so far that it would take an immense amount of time before it all got back to him. Very slowly...

With him not around to intervene at every possible moment energy, so far dispersed would have the freedom to flow around and recombine in every thing conceivable and unconceivable. Without God around things would suddenly be unpredictable. Galaxy’s, suns, planets would come in to existence, flourish, collide and disappear again.

After this moment that God decided to explode (know as the big bang theory) everything would slowly come back to him and he would be learning for an immense amount of time. And after the universe had come back into this single point he would have reviewed everything. Then on judgment day he would pick out all the things he liked about the universe that had been and put these on one side and all the things he dislikes on the other. One of the things he does not like would be taken out and locked away in what we call hell. And then he would throw the dice again. The next big bang would start and the next universe would be born and it would be different and a bit better than the previous universe. He would have to take something out of the equation so that every time things would be different. Just leaving out a single atom would lead to a totally different universe. Imagine the possible combinations. This cycle of rebirth is the heartbeat of God. A different kind of reincarnation.

So you see that we actually live in heaven and that everything around us is a part of God. Yes, even you…

Painting somehow resembles this cycle on a subminiature scale. I recombine the same paint as before in a different way to create another picture. Combinations are as endless as the universes. I try to see what I did not like in my previous paintings and try to do better next time. I would like to paint a lot better but I hope I never achieve perfection (and chances are good) because I would have nothing more to learn. That would be a shame, because learning and growing is the best thing that can happen to us. Every time I do a little better than the previous try I feel great. That is why I paint. It is the growing and the learning that makes it so great. Rest assured that you will be learning a lot more than painting. You can not make a great picture without understanding some of it’s contents. All this also makes painting a kind of prayer.